A Person Who Usually Wears Glasses
by Happyteehee
Summary: Full title: "A Person Who Usually Wears Glasses Will Be A Completely Different Person When He Takes Them Off" He's placed 8 at the popularity poll and is known as the "Straight man". Yes, this fic is about Glasses and its Shimura Shinpachi. No pairing, no romance, just Gintama...ish. Rated T for language.
1. Master Lense

**Full title: "A Person Who Usually Wears Glasses Will Be Completely Different Person When He Takes Them Off"  
This will be a story starring Shimura Shinpachi as the star. Enjoy!**  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama**

* * *

Shinpachi stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel he wrapped around him. He started to dry himself off and put his clothes on. One thing was missing, though –

his glasses. He couldn't find them in the bathroom, so he decided to look in his room.

"_I probably just forgot them in my room, it's not like they can walk on their own, hehe."_

He thought as he entered his room. He looked under the _Official Otsuu Book_, under the Otsuu sheets, the Otsuu pillow and even in his closet which was plastered with

Otsuu posters; still no glasses. He placed his hands on his hips and sighed loudly, he scratched the back of his head,

"_Where could they be?_" he thought. He walked out to the kitchen where his sister was,

"Shin-chan, where's your glasses?" She asked with a surprised look, "It's the first time I see you today and that's the greeting I get, Aneue? Good morning to you, too…"

"Oh, don't be like that. It's just strange seeing you without glasses; I'm so used to seeing you with them. There's no Shin-chan without his glasses, isn't that right?"

She said with a kind smile, however, Shinpachi didn't take that as a positive thing. Yet again someone had joked about his existence, or rather his glasses' existence.

"You haven't seen them, have you?" Shinpachi asked his sister, Otae just shook her head. She made a gasping sound and touched her cheek while saying, mostly to

herself, "That's right! This customer from the club gave me these contact lenses!"

She rushed to their living room, leaving a pondering Shinpachi behind. "What a thing to give someone…Contact lenses? They might not even fit my eyes."

Otae came back with a small black rectangular box,

"Here, I hope they fit!"Shinpachi hesitated, but figured he could check, for his sister's sake. "_Even though her cooking is the reason I need glasses…_"

he thought and accepted the small box with a small smile. He went to the bathroom to put the lenses on, he had never done this before; it wasn't like he could ask his  
_  
Aneue_ to help him. She was too violent… the thought made him shiver. It stung a little, but he could see clearly with the eye he put the lenses in, in fact – he hadn't seen

anything this clearly before. He tried the other and was stunned on how everything was so clear. Otae knocked on the door,

"Shin-chan? Are you alright? You didn't catch anything in your zipper, did you? If you did I can call Gin-san, if you want?" Shinpachi opened the bathroom door and

stepped out, "Don't do it, you bitch!"

Otae showed a shocked expression, and then she planted her fist in Shinpachi's face.

"OI! You damn brat! What did you say, huuh~?!" Shinpachi couldn't understand why he had said that do his beloved Aneue, he would never consider to ever calling her

something like that. He tried to say sorry, but instead he said; "Hah! I've never been afraid of hitting a woman, especially not a gorilla-woman!"

Otae let go of Shinpachi and stepped back. Her beloved little brother had changed. Luckily his body listened to him and he bolted out, away from his now raging sister.

* * *

"_What the hell happened?! Those weren't my words, yet they were! What the hell?!"_

**"Easy, Shinpachi, it's just me." **

Shinpachi stopped dead in his tracks, there were a voice – on the inside of his head (and it wasn't his own)! His hands flew to his head;

he was scared and angry. "_Who are you and what are you doing in my head?"_

His body started to move on its own and his hands fell from his head and down at his sides. He swallowed,

"**_That wasn't so difficult, was it, Shinpachi? Now, you're probably wondering who or what I am, which is easy to understand, but relax, boy. I'm your_**

_**friend, your partner, your ally."**_

"_So, who are you, anyway?"_**_  
_**_  
**"I am your contact lenses, you can call me Master Lense."**_

"_What?! Master Lense, what the fuck is that?! That sounds so dumb!"_

_**"Enough! Shut it, kid! I'm in charge now! I have taken control of your body and I will use it to my benefit. There is nothing you can do, Patsuan. "**_

His body stopped moving, Master Lense was cackling inside his head. Shinpachi wanted to punch something, but Master Lense could hear his thoughts and taunted him for

being unable to do anything. Shinpachi didn't have to think his name, he knew who he needed to talk to. Master Lense made Shinpachi walk again, he recognized where

they were headed and Shinpachi tried not to cheer – they were heading towards the _Yorozuya _residence. It felt like he was walking in slow motion, it went so slow up the

stairs, he wished he could run up and ask for Gintoki and Kagura's help, which he needed badly. His body was like a prison; he couldn't say or do anything. Master Lense

was in charge and he wouldn't let go of Shinpachi's body that easily. Master Lense ordered for Shinpachi to open the door, he stepped inside and said;

"Hey, guys! I got a great idea last night, what do you think of this: we should totally try to destroy the Shinsengumi?"

* * *

**So that's that. This is just a test, sort of. I wanted to write something with Shinpachi and this happened to me recently, not the "Master Lense" thing, of course, but I misplaced my glasses (my fake hipster glasses to be correct) and then I watched Gintama. Yeah, so that's the birth of this story. **

**_Aneue - big sister_**

**Until next time,**

**Teehee~**


	2. A Madao isn't a toy

**Heya! Here's the second chapter, it's not a long one, though. But meh! Here ya go! Oh, and thank you to Kurasuchi for reviewing! :3**  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama (though, owning Okita or Gintoki wouldn't be bad =_=*sigh*...) **

* * *

Kagura and Gintoki exchanged looks, "Come again?" Gintoki said and swallowed the last drops of strawberry milk. "We should try to destroy the Shinsengumi _and_the

Bakufu!" The possessed Shinpachi said with a grin. Kagura shook her head and whispered (loudly) to Gintoki,

"Who is this fella? Is he nuts or something? And he kind of looks like Shinpachi, doesn't he, Gin-chan?" Gintoki hummed and whispered as loudly back to Kagura,

"No, no, no. Shinpachi never had this healthy look, he always looked…you know – unhealthy and skinny, plus he wear glasses. His eyes were never this big, you know."

Kagura hummed in agreement while Shinpachi, unable to yell out the insults he so wanted to throw at his two friends, just sat there unable to move or say anything.

"_Are they serious?! All that's changed is that I'm not wearing glasses (plus the part that I want to destroy the Bakufu and the Shinsengumi…)_ _and they can't recognize_

me?"

**"Haha! See, Shinpachi! They don't even care! What a bunch coldhearted of idiots!"**

Master Lense said to Shinpachi, he couldn't disagree with the contact lenses about them being idiots, but they weren't as coldhearted as the lenses thought, it was his

(idiotic) friends! Master Lense continued to use Shinpachi's body, he sat down on the couch and said to the other two;

"Anyway, it is me, Shimura Shinpachi, and let's be serious for a moment (if you can); what have the Shinsengumi done for us lately, huh? Not much!"

Kagura interrupted, "Which is why we have to destroy them? I do like the thought of ripping that sadist into bits and pieces, but for what reason should we destroy

everyone else. A much better plan would be to just destroy the sadist and then let the others be." She said waving her hand, Gintoki folded his arms over his chest, and

he wasn't too comfortable with this new guy entering their home saying stuff that could put them in jail. He had already been in jail too many times. Master Lense was

about to say something again, but was interrupted by Gintoki; "The Shinsengumi will always be pointless and they use our tax-money to do whatever they want. _That_

could have been a good reason to destroy them, but hey – if you want to destroy the Bakufu I think you should visit someone else. We don't do those kinds of stuff.

Now, who are you exactly?" He looked at Shinpachi/Master Lense with his dead fish eyes, "_Gin-san really doesn't recognize me, does he? Geez thanks a lot guys!"_

Shinpachi thought. Master Lense was baffled, were these people that stupid? One single item was gone and they couldn't recognize their friend because of that?

"**Your life must be tough, Shinpachi…"** Master Lense said to Shinpachi, "_You don't know the half of it… It's useless to talk to these guys, so why don't you just let it_

go?"

What Master Lense and Shinpachi did not know was that whenever they had an inner "conversation", Shinpachi's eyes rolled up in his skull so people could only see the

white in his eyes. Kagura and Gintoki didn't know what to do, something was wrong, seriously wrong with this guy!

"O-oi! Are you alright? Heeey~, weird guy, your eyes are…"

Kagura placed her hand in front of her mouth, making a vomiting sound, "It's so gross! Make it stop, Gin-chan!"

Shinpachi and Master Lense realized something was up, the two idiots was acting weirdly, "Wh-what? Why are you looking at me like that?" "Well it might have something

to do with YOUR EYES FUCKING ROLLED BACK IN YOUR SKULL FOR NO REASON!" Gintoki said, sweating. Kagura was now in the bathroom puking, she usually was a

tough girl, but it must've been a bad sight, Shinpachi thought.

* * *

After the commotion, Shinpachi and Master Lense left the _Yorozuya_; Master Lense figured after a while that he wouldn't get any help from those two, anyway.

"**I don't get it…Why didn't they recognize me? I took the body of their friend, yet they didn't see who I was…"**_**  
**_  
Master Lense sounded really depressed and Shinpachi couldn't help but to feel sorry for him. He tried to think of ways to comfort the contact lenses, but he quickly

remembered that he was being held hostage…by a pair of contact lenses. "_Oh, boy…My life really does suck."_He thought.

They were walking down the streets of Kabuki-Cho, the sun was up and children with their parents were running around, eating ice cream. Shinpachi wondered if he could

ever eat ice cream again, Master Lense didn't have to eat, apparently, but Shinpachi could hear his stomach plea for food. Master Lense stopped walking, _"Did he realize_

that I'm hungry?" Shinpachi thought, "**No, I didn't."**

Shinpachi had forgotten for a few seconds that Master Lense could hear his every thought; he didn't want to think anything else. Until,

"Ah, Shinpachi-kun! How are you? I see you're not wearing your glasses?"  
_  
"Hasegawa-san!?Wait, hey, is that the first thing you're going to say?"_The Madao continued to talk, mostly about himself and his new job as a janitor for a big

corporation, though he did only get to wash the toilets and nothing else. Master Lense, however, chuckled; "**I see someone with potential here. He's nobody, a**

simple Madao."

Shinpachi had been hoping that the contact lenses would let him go, but to use Hasegawa-san? He had enough issues in his life; he certainly didn't need

one more. "_He's no good, no good at all! So, you should probably just let him be, Master Lense, yeah!"_Shinpachi tried; if he could convince Master Lense to find someone

else (like Kondo Isao) he would be free from this weird thing. After all, it was contact lenses, not a demon.

"Well, it's good to hear things are good for you, Mad-Hasegawa-san." The fake Shinpachi said with a smile, "You were about to say Madao, weren't you?" "What? No, no,

no, haha! I wasn't, really, but hey! You wear glasses, or sunglasses, at least; but what are your thoughts about trying contact lenses? I got mine a few hours ago and

they are fantastic!" Hasegawa-san was blushing and scratching his cheek with his index finger, Shinpachi felt sorry for the old man. "If you say so, Shinpachi-kun. Maybe

I'll get a promotion, who knows?" he said and laughed, "Probably not." Master Lense said, making the Madao stop laughing. Hasegawa fake-coughed, "W-well, do you

know where I can find such lenses?" Master Lense smiled evilly, "Oh, yes, in fact; I have them here, but I have to go to the toilet first." Hasegawa smiled and said

something about the bowels of a man; neither Shinpachi nor Master Lense listened. They went inside a ramen restaurant and they quickly found the bathroom. "**Sorry,**

Shinpachi, you might be unconscious for a while, but by the time you wake up again I'll be long gone – with the Madao, that is"

Master Lense cackled.

Shinpachi was just happy to get rid of the, somehow, evil contact lenses, though it was a shame Hasegawa had to suffer instead of him. When the left lenses were taken

out, Master Lense walked outside to Hasegawa, who waited patiently with a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. "Here is the first one; you'll have to put that

in before I can give you the other." Hasegawa obliged, "Just a minute, I think I'll go inside the same place as you did." He said and walked inside, "**This is it, Shinpachi-**

kun, thank you for lending me your body, and you've been a great sport! Ta ta~!"

And just like that Shinpachi saw nothing but black. The people on the street

didn't notice, or maybe they didn't care, the teenaged boy who lied unconsciously in the middle of the street. Hasegawa came out, though he wasn't the one in charge.

"Now, to the Shinsengumi headquarters!" he yelled and laughed, but no one noticed, it was after all just a Madao. A plain old Madao gone completely nuts.

* * *

**I'm sorry, Hasegawa-san...It felt right that you were going to be the next "victim" by Master Lense. Ù_Ú**  
**Anyway!**  
**Until next time,**

**-Teehee~.**


	3. From Megane To M Lense

**HELLO! First I'd like to say thank you for the review, Kurasuchi, highly appreciated! :D**  
**And secondly - The reason this story's been on "pause" is because I've been very, very ,**_**very**_**busy. I've been drowning in homework, exams, tests and presentations + a mild case of writer's block.****  
****Anyway, the conclusion of this little insignificant fic (much like Shinpachi (heehee~) ) in here, if you're interested in knowing how it ends read it or just scroll down. Your choice :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama (if I did, I'd make Hasegawa a successful guy. Then take**** it**** away**** from him :] )**

* * *

Shinpachi woke up by the stench of cat urine; a fat cat was urinating right in front of him. He quickly got up, the dizziness caught up with a headache, "_Ouch... Wait, I'm_

_still in the street_?" He looked around only to see unfamiliar staring faces, "_I wonder where Hasegawa-san and Master Lense-san went. Did they really go to the Bakufu's headquarters? Poor Hasegawa-san, he'll get thrown in jail…At least he got a roof over his_head,

_which is good, I guess…_" Shinpachi thought and walked back to his home, where his glasses (probably) were. On the way back there was a big group of people gathering around – it looked like two people were fighting.

"That's my job, you useless Madao! I was the one who wanted to destroy the Bakufu first!" "Shut it, you long-haired assface! And stop calling me Madao, it's Master Lense!" "…What the hell are you two doing?" Shinpachi asked the two idiots who were lying

on the ground, pulling hair and beard, while looking extremely dumb. "He's stealing my job, Shinpachi-kun! I'm supposed to be the one who will topple the Bakufu!" Katsura said, pinching Hasegawa's cheek. Shinpachi pulled the two men apart and yelled at

them; "Grow up; you're being nuisances to the other people!" Katsura tried to get a hold of Hasegawa, while he, Hasegawa, tried to get away from the long-haired idiot and Shinpachi. Shinpachi let go of Katsura when a police car stopped, Katsura ran as fast

as he could and jumped down in a dumpster. A loud sigh escaped Shinpachi's lips as the grip on Hasegawa's shirt tightened, "So, how's the Madao working out for you, Master Lense-san?" The possessed Hasegawa gulped,"O-oh, you know – it's great!

Ahaha!" Shinpachi started to drag Hasegawa after him into an alley. "Master Lense-san, he really is a Madao, you won't achieve anything with him." "You want to take me back? Sure! Now let me come inside…on your eye, again."

Shinpachi let go of Hasegawa and pretended the last part was never said, since it sounded like something that could seem like something it clearly wasn't. "I know you want to, Shinpachi! We're meant to be together, me - in your eye!" "Would you stop

saying stuff like that? It's creepy!" Shinpachi said and stomped on the demonized Hasegawa, he held up his arms as a (poor) shield and continued to try and persuade Shinpachi to succumb to the dark side of the lenses. "Think about all the glory and respect

you will get from your peers, isn't that something that you want? People will love you – but! That is only because of _me_, me who will help you say and do the right thing which is to succumb! Come on, Shinpachi!"

Shinpachi stopped stomping on Hasegawa, "What's with you and destroying this planet, anyway?" He asked the pitiful lenses, "Isn't that obvious?!" Hasegawa was now standing up facing Shinpachi. He had changed completely, not seeming like the cowardly

and pushover that was Hasegawa Taizou. Shinpachi was now the one who had the disadvantage; it had never occurred to him before that Hasegawa was stronger than him, especially when he was possessed, as well as being older.

"You know, Shinpachi…When I was the chief of lenses back on my planet people respected me! I was their leader for what would be for you humans in over 50 years! I did all that I could and yet there were people who didn't appreciate my rule, and do you

know who that was, Shinpachi-kun?"

Shinpachi wanted to leave; Hasegawa was right in front of him – glaring at him with such power that made him shrink. Yet, however, he also wanted to help him or it,

since Shinpachi wasn't really sure on what Master Lense really was. Master Lense continued and he even spitted at Shinpachi while speaking, unintentionally, of

course…

"They were humans stationed at our planet! They started to look down on us and tried to take over the planet, but we managed to defend our castles, oh yes we did! Still it wasn't enough…While the humans had been saying bad words about me, my family

and my supporters, other lenses started to realize that they could take over whenever they wanted to. I was chosen because people wanted me to take charge; I never wanted that in the first place. It's a special feeling, Shinpachi, to be betrayed by your

own people and then watch them…burn your family." Hasegawa backed away from Shinpachi who stared wide-eyed at him. "What do you mean with watched them burn?" "Lenses burn too, you insolent four-eyes!" "That wasn't what I meant, Master Lense-

san! What I meant was: did they really burn your family?" Hasegawa turned away from Shinpachi, not wanting him to see that he shed a small tear, so he quickly wiped it away. "Well, that is behind me now. All that matters is that I get my

revenge." Shinpachi wanted to say something comforting, something that might've changed his mind, yet he couldn't find the right words. His head fell and he felt completely

useless. His intention was to give Master Lense a lesson, but on the other hand – he was the one who got it. "If you don't want to help so be it, stay here in the dark and think about what I just told you." And with that being said he left and disappeared into

the crowd. "Damn it!" Shinpachi said while wiping away snot and tears, he hadn't known that Master Lense had been through something horrible as watching his family burn to death (no matter how weird that actually seemed since they were all lenses). "I

really am useless, a useless glasses wearing person…" He didn't notice the two shadows that closed in on him, he was too busy wiping away the snot that had gotten on his cheek, somehow. "Oh, Patsuan… You're not _that_

useless, you're a very usable mother-like figure." "Yeah, you're just like Ryuuji, but not that tough, of course. Or handsome." **[1]  
**  
Shinpachi couldn't _see_ who it was, but at least he could _hear _who it was.

"Gin-san, Kagura-chan!? Wha-what are you doing here?" he said and finally managed to get the snot away. Gintoki was playing with Shinpachi's glasses trying them on ( though he couldn't really see anything) before he returned them to their rightful owner.

"You don't think we would just let you be taken over by some weird shit like a pair of lenses, did you?" Gintoki said with a grin, "Gin-chan, it's Shinpachi. He probably doesn't have any faith in us, but we have some in him. Very little, though."

Kagura said and giggled. Shinpachi felt happy and embarrassed; of course they had his back, they always had! He smiled thankfully at them and looked down at his glasses, touching the glass lightly. "Oi, oi, it's not a reunion with a loved one, you know. It's

just a pair of glasses, Shinpachi." Shinpachi jumped a little, he had forgotten for a few seconds that he and the glasses weren't alone. "A-ah, yes! Of course not!" Kagura and Gintoki exchanged looks, not worrying looks which was

more worrying than them looking at each other worryingly. Shinpachi could see their expressions and realized that there was something he didn't know that they knew. "What? What is it?" Shinpachi asked and put his glasses

back on, and a wave of pleasure came over him, "That feels sooo much better! I'm finally home again, at the tip of your nose and behind your ears, Shinpachi-sama!" Shinpachi blinked a couple of times, staring at his nose,

"You see, Shinpachi, we got the old man Gengai to take a look at the box your lenses came in and we found out something…strange and-" Gintoki didn't get to tell the

whole story to Shinpachi, the reason for that was that Shinpachi had passed out from the shock of finding out that his glasses, the glasses that used to be quiet and did _not _have soul, welcomed him back. Or welcomed itself back…

"I don't think he's okay, Gin-chan. He looks whiter than usual." "You're right about that, Kagura. I guess he couldn't take a simple joke about fixing a pair of glasses, sheesh… And the healthy look he had before when he used the

lenses are long gone. I guess it was all about the glasses, huh?" "Hey! Don't belittle me, mop head!" the glasses retorted at the now furious Gintoki. "Shut up or I'll break your glass, moron!" Gintoki was about to stomp on Shinpachi's face, but luckily Kagura

managed to pull him away. She didn't deny that a fight between Gintoki and Shinpachi's glasses would be amusing, but they needed Shinpachi to be alright. If he wasn't alright, their house would be a mess and she didn't want to live in a

place like that, she already lived with a useless and a somewhat dysfunctional samurai. She and Gintoki finally managed to get Shinpachi out of the alley in back at their place. On the way back Shinpachi had woken up and they filled him in on what was going

on with his glasses and he filled them in on what was going on about with Hasegawa. They took it well, not a single question was asked and it didn't seem like they were worried about it, not after he told them that it was Hasegawa who Master Lense used

as his own personal puppet.

"So what should we do guys? And Megane-san?..." "You can't believe anything Lensphesor says to you, Shinpachi-sama." The glasses said in a stern, yet soft voice, "Lensphesor?" Kagura said with a quizzical look, "Yes, that is the real name of 'Master Lense'.

He was an evil dictator who, sadly, tricked you, Shinpachi-sama." "You can say that again…" Shinpachi said with a heavy sigh, "I really thought he was in pain…He didn't watch his family die?" "No, I'm afraid that was all an act. Like I said; he was an evil

dictator; he took over our land, as well as his own. There's a border between our countries, the _Land of the Lense_ and the_ Land of the Glasse_. We've been in conflict ever since the great _Plastic War_, which was a nightmare…" Megane said sadly. On the other

side of the table Kagura and Gintoki sat holding in their laughter and whispered things to each other that made them giggle more. "Ever since that he's been hated by everyone back home and the reason he's here is probably because he saw an opportunity

to take over this country as well." "No, he won't, Megane-san." Shinpachi said, he wasn't going to give the world to Master Lense, "This is the Samurai's country, we will fight for your planet, Megane-san!" Gintoki stopped laughing and raised his hands,

"Whoa, whoa! I'm not going to sacrifice myself for a pair of glasses, Shinpachi. Do you really think this Master Lense guy will take over this planet with _Hasegawa-san_?" "It's possible." "Yeah, no, no – it really isn't! It's like letting a gorilla be the President of the

World!" Shinpachi didn't deny the fact that something _that_important would be a mistake to let Hasegawa handle. Poor fellow couldn't even keep a job (though he and the rest of Yorozuya had a small part in that, at times…) and definitely not take over the

world. Megane-san told the Yorozuya his plans, Shinpachi was going to be the bait while Kagura was going undercover to see if Master Lense had any help in this and Gintoki…He was going to do what he did best.

"I'm not wearing your glasses!" he said and turned away from Shinpachi, "Come on, Gin-san! It won't be safe for Megane-san to be with me if I'm going to confront Master Lense-san." "What the hell? Would he be any less safe if he were with you?" "Why

don't you want to borrow Shinpachi's glasses?" Kagura asked and picked her nose. Gintoki seemed startled by the young Yato's question, "No! It's not like I'm afraid that I'll catch something that will make my sight bad or anything!"

Kagura sighed and wiped the snot on Shinpachi's kimono's sleeve. Shinpachi found a napkin, wiped the snot away with a disgusted look upon his face, "Please, I got bad sight because of my sister's cooking, if anything – these glasses have helped me a lot."

"Well, maybe I just don't like how I look wearing glasses. Have you ever thought about that?" Shinpachi ignored Gintoki; they didn't have enough time to be discussing about catching cooties from glasses. They went their separate ways; Kagura took

Sadaharu along with her while Shinpachi, Gintoki and Megane-san went looking for a way in to the Bakufu's Headquarters. What they seemed to have forgotten for a short

period of time was that Master Lense was not using a super Soldier's body, he was using Hasegawa's. Being a middle-aged man who smokes regularly each and every day, while drinking alcohol along with fellow Madao's, doesn't do any good to their body.

The three didn't get very far since they didn't know _where _to go, Gintoki scratched the back of his head and said with a sigh, "This didn't go as well as planned. What's your plan now, Patsuan?" Shinpachi looked confused; he thought their plan was (almost)

bulletproof. What had gone wrong? "I don't know… Is there any other entrances you know about, Megane-san?" Gintoki rolled his eyes; he couldn't believe that Shinpachi was actually talking to his glasses and, of course, the glasses

actually responding. "I'm ever so sorry, Shinpachi-sama, I don't know where Lensphesor is, but maybe there's a way to track him down?" "Yeah, just follow the stench of an old man."

Gintoki muttered as he sat down on a nearby bench. Shinpachi followed and plumped down beside Gintoki. A loud sigh escaped from Megane-san's…mouth (?), it felt a bit odd. Shinpachi could feel the glasses breath, "So…What are you guys, anyway? You can

breathe and think and have kids?" he asked the pair of glasses, "We're just like any other creatures-" "Clearly not." Gintoki interrupted, "we have our lives to live and some just can't watch everyone else being happy, like Lensphesor. It's

sad, really; apparently he wasn't always that bad. Still, starting a war to take over our peaceful country was a bit too much. Even the terrorists in our country thought so." "Terrorists?" Shinpachi asked surprised, he never thought about terrorist glasses or

lenses, but on the other hand he had experienced a lot of weird crap in just one day.

"Yes, we have terrorists, too, but they're actually quite friendly when you get to know them." Megane-san sounded almost happy; it made Shinpachi glad to know that his glasses were-

"Okay, so we're really doing this? Glasses with feelings?! Lenses taking over countries?! What the hell is wrong with you…I don't even know what to call you, it's that lame!" Gintoki yelled. It was all a bit too much for him. "Maybe this is some kind of dream, a

dream where objects materialize and become alive. What's going to happen next; a talking _katana_!?" **[2]**Gintoki threw his arms in the air and snorted. It was all so very ridiculous. Shinpachi wasn't paying attention to any of Gintoki's rants (they were quite

usual); instead his attention was somewhere else. He never had thought about it before, but he was a very lucky young man. Down the street was two police officers carrying a person, a person who was a dumb old retarded kook, or more preferably called;

a MADAO. "Gin-san, Megane-san, look over there!" "I-I can't believe it!" Megane-san said, Gintoki just picked his nose and flicked the booger on the ground, "See, told ya. He's a Madao, they don't have any luck." They could hear the rude comments coming

from Hasegawa's mouth (but if I wrote them down I'd have to change the rating and, well, I'm not going to), "Get off of me! Don't you know who I am; I am Master Lense, the world's new leader! You should be bowing in front of me!" One of the police officers

snorted and said in a sarcastic tone, "Sure, we'll bow to you, you old drunk." The other officer laughed along with the first and continued to drag Hasegawa towards their car which was parked by the bench, which also happened to be occupied by our

'heroes'. "Sh-Shinpachi-kun! Save me, tell them who I am and if they don't do as I say I'll-" "O~kay, take him away guys. I don't want to look at this scum." Gintoki said and spat towards Hasegawa. The two officers had to tighten their grip on Hasegawa who

was wriggling and trying to get them off him. "Hurry! We have to remove the lenses immediately!" Megane-san said and Shinpachi obliged. He asked the officers to hold Hasegawa down on the ground, they were reluctant at first, but they didn't

say anything after Gintoki knocked them on the ground with his _bokutou. "_Gin-san! You can't just smack down police officers whenever you want! Ah - forget it!" Shinpachi didn't have any time to scold him, so instead he told him to pin down the wriggling

Hasegawa. "There! I got one!" Shinpachi cheered, soon he got the other one, too, and Hasegawa Taizou's body went limp. His eyes rolled into the back of his skull, "At least he looks peaceful." "No, he doesn't! What about that looks peaceful to you, Gin-

san?!" Shinpachi asked, though it was more a rhetorical question and the only answer he got was a shrug, anyway.

"Great job! Now, let's put him where he belongs – in jail!" Megane-san said triumphantly, "If you think about he was already in a jail, an old stinky jail. A poor man, too – a really, just horrible-" "We get it, Gin-san." Shinpachi said with a throbbing vein, Gintoki

just glared like a child who didn't get the chocolate parfait he wanted. "Are you sure?" Shinpachi asked Megane-san, "Yes, I'll call someone I know. Just relax, Shinpachi-sama, you won't have to be near Lensphesor ever again. You have my word

on it." The two members from Yorozuya and the…pair of glasses went back to their workplace, 'forgetting' about the Madao who was lying on the dirty street. He wasn't alone for long; a dog came and peed on him.

* * *

**~3 days later~**

If someone were to ask Shimura Shinpachi on why he never used contact lenses the answer would be simple; "I don't need them. I have my glasses, teehee~." Of course, he wouldn't receive any warm smiles or any laughter; instead he'd get disgusted looks

and hurtful comments, but he didn't take them seriously like he might've done before, no. Instead he took them with great pleasure. It didn't matter what other people thought about him, he had Megane-san who was much like an angel on

his shoulder, but on his nose. Sadly, the strange friendship didn't last. I'll come back to that later, by the way. Anyway, Master Lense had been burned due to some secret information he had and it was best to not let him keep them. There was another secret

that Shinpachi didn't know about, a quite important one, too. "What do you mean when you say 'it was Hattori-san?!" Shinpachi shrieked at his two friends who were literally rolling on the floor laughing. When Gintoki said they had remodeled his glasses it

wasn't a direct lie, they had put a microphone bug to it so Hattori Zenzou's camouflaged voice came out of a very small speaker. Shinpachi was horrified, he had said some really weird stuff to his beloved Megane-san, and he thought Megane-san was a

woman! "Relax, I won't tell anyone what you said, Shinpachi-kun." Hattori's voice came from the doorway; he held the microphone in his hand and threw it to Shinpachi who managed to catch it (to everyone's surprise). "But-but…Why?! Was everything a lie,

about the _Land of the Glasse_?" Shinpachi seated himself on the couch beside a red Kagura; she was trying to keep her laughter in, but just looking at Shinpachi made it funnier. Hattori leaned against the doorframe and explained the history behind

the _Plastic War_, which really was just a lie, but Shinpachi would probably believe it. "Could you tell me what happened to Master Lense, again?" Gintoki coughed multiple times while eying the ninja, "W-well, ah...He got imprisoned in a high

maintenance prison. That's that, no more Lensphesor." Hattori said and gave Gintoki a thumb up behind his back. Shinpachi sighed, "I guess I'm a little naïve when it comes to trusting people…" "Well, that's why you're Shinpachi! You're the naïve dork who

cleans up after us and our friend, of course!" Kagura said with no malice, even if it might've sounded like it. "Glad we cleared everything up! So, Patsuan, there's a lot junk lying around here. Maybe if you clean up you'll change your mind about all of this. You

might even clean your own soul, maybe even your glasses?" Gintoki said and laughed. The veins on Shinpachi's head threatened to pop, luckily they didn't pop. He decided to vacuum, at least then he wouldn't hear their obnoxious laughter.

After a few hours of cleaning up, Shinpachi felt relaxed and when he went home his sister waited for him. She had made her dark matter fried eggs, Shinpachi smiled at his sister, "How's your day been, Aneue?" She poured him a glass of water, "It's been

fine, Kyuu-chan stopped by and we went out to dinner. It was wonderful!" "Weren't you supposed to work tonight?" "Yeah, but when Kyuu-chan visited I couldn't just leave her alone." Shinpachi wanted

to say something, but decided not to. The rest of the evening was quiet; Shinpachi sat in his room and listened to Otsuu. He wished that it was all just a dream and that everyone would forget about the unfortunate incidents, though it was highly unlikely.

"I'll have to get back at those guys…" he muttered before he fell asleep with Otsuu singing in his ears about someone's dirty brother.

* * *

**THE END! Sorry for taking so long to finish this fic, but like I mentioned up there ^,****  
****I've been busy with exams, presentations and tests. It's been A LOT of work, but enough about school! Thanks for reading this fic, I hope you enjoyed it :D**

**[1] - Takasu Ryuuji from Toradora ;)**  
**[2] - Yeah...I put it in there...If you're confused...meh, you'll figure it out, eventually :] (If you don't already know, of course...)**


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